Monday, February 23, 2015

What Am I Missing? Just a Little Silliness Along With This Week’s Smashwords Coupon

I seem to be missing something, but I can’t remember what it is. Here lately I seem to be having a lot of trouble with my memory. Well, maybe not just lately – this has been going on for - for longer than I can remember.
More than anything, I’m losing my words. I’ve tried doing those memory tricks, where you remember George’s name because you picture him in the jungle (GEORGE of the JUNGLE), and you remember the jungle by thinking of the bars you climbed on a playground (a JUNGLE GYM) and so the next time you see him you picture him in the jungle and call him “JIM.” If I were able to remember all those clues correctly, then I wouldn’t need the memory tricks in the first place.
I’m not the only person who’s losing things. Lots of things go missing. Car keys for as long as there’ve been cars. Evolutionists have been MISSING a LINK since before I was born. There’s the Lost City of Atlantis. UFOs are always disappearing.
I know that rubber is wearing off everyone’s tires; does anyone know where it all went?
Change is getting lost all the time, but no one seems to care. The only reason we know it was lost is that it’s always being found. It keeps coming back like a bad penny. Never mind, I’ll pick it up anyway.
What happened to all the caffeine they take out of coffee when they make decaf? I’ve asked them to put it in mine when I eat out, but they can’t seem to find it.
I see signs for lost dogs all the time. Not so much for cats, even though dogs are kept on leashes and the cats are the ones that are allowed to wander off. Go figure.
There are missing persons, too. Jimmy Hoffa. Amelia Earhart. The crew and passengers of the S.S. Minnow. Oceanic flight 815.
I hear all the time about people trying to find themselves. Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem if they’d just open their eyes. “What? Am I Missing? Oh, here I am! What a relief that’s over.”
They sell a device you can attach to your keys so when you lose them you can press a button and your keys will beep so you can find them. What makes them think I won’t lose the button? What works better for me is to develop habits – make a point of always putting your keys in the same place, then you just have to visit that place to find them. Make the place somewhere you visit often and it will be harder to lose.
I bet people stopped visiting Atlantis as often as they should, and they finally lost track of where it was. I wonder if Hoffa didn’t have any friends to visit him, and that’s why he vanished. Note to self: be sure to have lots of friends. Maybe that way I won’t have to find myself.
But one thing is certain – no matter what you’ve lost, it’s always in the last place you look. Of course, if you find it, then it SHOULD be the last place you look; why would you continue looking after that? “Glad I finally found that – now let’s see if I can find it again somewhere else.”
I think I’m still missing something; anyone else?.
Just saying…
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This week’s featured eBook is William’s paranormal romance (not THAT kind of romance) “Through Her Eyes”; here’s the smashwords.com link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/169294?ref=notimetothink
Use coupon code NY28M to get 50% off the list price at check out at smashwords. The coupon will be good through Monday, March 2nd.)  Enjoy!

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William Mangieri’s writing (including his latest ePublication "Saturday He Fed the Cat") can be found in many places, such as:

Connect with him on Facebook at:   http://www.facebook.com/NoTimeToThink


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