The Words We Choose

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Are we sure about that? Think of the most repugnant thing you can imagine; if you changed the name of a rose to that, would you still want to plant them in your garden?

Word choices are important. There’s an old ad by Verbal Advantage that started “People judge you by the words you use.” They were selling a product to help improve your vocabulary, the thinking being that, the more expansive and educated your word choices, the more highly people will regard you, and your status will rise.
They were right to a point, but there’s more judging going on than they were talking about. Words don’t just have meanings – they have connotations as well. By your choice of words, people can tell something about your beliefs that you may not have meant to tell them.
At this moment, those of you who are on the politically incorrect side of a given argument probably became concerned. “Wait – you mean no matter how hard I try to not become an issue, I still am? But I’m trying so hard to fit in…” Isn’t it a shame that we live in a world where you can’t be truthful without risking your peace of mind? Where your friendships or employment can be adversely impacted for what may even be a majority belief?
We live in a world where the war is over vocabulary – we no longer share the same glossary. That’s why the two sides seem to live in alternate realities – the words they use to define the real world alter the perception. Too many people think that Perception is Reality, but it’s not; REALITY IS REALITY. As I’ve heard said often – you are entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts.
Why do we persist in fooling ourselves about what we’re talking about? Calling something what it is brings clarity. How can you solve a problem if you can’t say what it is?
Sometimes it’s helpful to set the mood or an image: Complaint Department vs Customer Service. This type of use can actually make conversation and problem resolution more likely.
But there are often times when people change the vocabulary they use to make it easier to accept (or even promote) objectionable circumstances. You can decide to tie a happy bow around it while going through a bad situation, and this may help make it easier to endure, BUT IT’S STILL A BAD SITUATION. Denial of the uncomfortable bits doesn’t make them go away.
This is dangerous. Science, rational thought, survival, all count on accurate understanding of our environment. If we warp this by altering or even banning the language, we have crippled our ability to come to agreement and solve problems.
It also enables us to make decisions with a downside by eliminating bad connotations. A Productivity Initiative sounds very positive, and helps to secure buy-in, but doesn’t calling it that warp the playing field and make it easier to engage in the layoffs that it includes? Saying you are Enhancing Revenue may make it easier to Raise Taxes, but it’s still just as painful.
A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet – AND would still have its thorns.
We need to always be mindful of what we’re REALLY talking about - what’s REALLY happening. Don’t try to prevent the argument by twisting and weakening the language. The “negatives”, no matter how uncomfortable they make us, DO have a place in the conversation.
Just saying….

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